I Like Fruit

Since the beginning of this year, I’ve been making sure that I spend time with God every day. I can honestly say that it has changed my life. Two of the things I’ve been thanking God for lately are the peace & joy that I’ve felt. Having a history of depression, anxiety, self-image/eating issues, and a jumbled family, those are two things that I haven’t really experienced a lot of throughout the course of my life, especially joy. Of course I’ve been happy and had fun, but true joy–the kind that you feel just because you’re alive–is something very new to me.

Last night at YG, one of my high school girls was teaching about one of the fruits of the Spirit. Being a new Christian, I didn’t know what they were so I asked. The answer: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). I didn’t really think too much about how it applied to me until she started talking about peace. As she went through lesson, she said those things are evidence of the Holy Spirit living inside of you and working in your life. When she said that, it really hit me; I really am a Christian. A few times last year, I kind of wondered if I was really saved because I didn’t “feel it” most of the time. I now know that I wasn’t ever not saved, and God didn’t go anywhere; He didn’t move; He wasn’t keeping His distance.. I was. I told the girls a little bit about my experience in general and told them to really take to heart what was said and that it was real. I felt so blessed to be able to speak about something like that from experience.

I went home after YG and decided to do my Breaking Free Bible study. I hadn’t done anything with it since Christmas day because I had been focusing on other studies, readings, etc. When I got to the lesson, I was a little bit floored.. the main Scripture for the lesson was Isaiah 26:3. Of course it was about peace.. God is awesome like that. It made me realize that I have these things in my life–joy & peace–because I’m finally giving Him my worries or concerns, being honest with how I feel & what I want, and trusting that He will transform me into who I need to be and lead me to where I need to be for His purposes.

Matthew 6:26

Welp, it seems that I haven’t done a great job at sticking to all of my resolutions (namely, #13. Post a  blog at least once/week). I guess I’ll need to work on that. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about God’s provision a lot lately. I have a tendency to worry about a lot of things– my relationship with God, my family, relationships, school, friendships, making sure I’m taking good care of myself, and probably more. A few weeks ago, I pulled into my driveway, looked to my left, and saw a bird sitting on the ledge of a stone wall. The first thing that popped into my mind was Matthew 6:26; God provides for all living creatures in one way or another. Why would I think that he isn’t going to take care of me, one of His children? No matter how big my problems or concerns may seem, I need to relax & learn to trust that God will take care of them and me. So today I’m thankful for all the ways that God has provided for me and will continue to provide for me, all the undeserved blessings He’s given me, and for His saving grace.