Provision

Last Friday, I was supposed to go to Tara & Joe’s for dinner when Tara called me and said she & Hayden had the flu. Even though she said she didn’t need anything, I went to the grocery store to buy crackers, ginger ale, and pedialyte since I had money left in my grocery budget and was leaving the next day for Christmas break. I bought the stuff, took it to Tara’s, and went about my evening. When I went to update my budget, I had budgeted $60 for groceries for the month. I saw that I had only spent $33.40, which meant I had $26.60 left. The stuff for Tara & her family amounted to $27.19.. a difference of 59 cents. God is so awesome 🙂

I Like Fruit

Since the beginning of this year, I’ve been making sure that I spend time with God every day. I can honestly say that it has changed my life. Two of the things I’ve been thanking God for lately are the peace & joy that I’ve felt. Having a history of depression, anxiety, self-image/eating issues, and a jumbled family, those are two things that I haven’t really experienced a lot of throughout the course of my life, especially joy. Of course I’ve been happy and had fun, but true joy–the kind that you feel just because you’re alive–is something very new to me.

Last night at YG, one of my high school girls was teaching about one of the fruits of the Spirit. Being a new Christian, I didn’t know what they were so I asked. The answer: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). I didn’t really think too much about how it applied to me until she started talking about peace. As she went through lesson, she said those things are evidence of the Holy Spirit living inside of you and working in your life. When she said that, it really hit me; I really am a Christian. A few times last year, I kind of wondered if I was really saved because I didn’t “feel it” most of the time. I now know that I wasn’t ever not saved, and God didn’t go anywhere; He didn’t move; He wasn’t keeping His distance.. I was. I told the girls a little bit about my experience in general and told them to really take to heart what was said and that it was real. I felt so blessed to be able to speak about something like that from experience.

I went home after YG and decided to do my Breaking Free Bible study. I hadn’t done anything with it since Christmas day because I had been focusing on other studies, readings, etc. When I got to the lesson, I was a little bit floored.. the main Scripture for the lesson was Isaiah 26:3. Of course it was about peace.. God is awesome like that. It made me realize that I have these things in my life–joy & peace–because I’m finally giving Him my worries or concerns, being honest with how I feel & what I want, and trusting that He will transform me into who I need to be and lead me to where I need to be for His purposes.

Matthew 6:26

Welp, it seems that I haven’t done a great job at sticking to all of my resolutions (namely, #13. Post a  blog at least once/week). I guess I’ll need to work on that. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about God’s provision a lot lately. I have a tendency to worry about a lot of things– my relationship with God, my family, relationships, school, friendships, making sure I’m taking good care of myself, and probably more. A few weeks ago, I pulled into my driveway, looked to my left, and saw a bird sitting on the ledge of a stone wall. The first thing that popped into my mind was Matthew 6:26; God provides for all living creatures in one way or another. Why would I think that he isn’t going to take care of me, one of His children? No matter how big my problems or concerns may seem, I need to relax & learn to trust that God will take care of them and me. So today I’m thankful for all the ways that God has provided for me and will continue to provide for me, all the undeserved blessings He’s given me, and for His saving grace.

Heyyy, 2011!

With less than 3 hours left in 2010, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect a little bit on the past year. I can’t believe how much has changed and how much I’ve grown since this time last year. Although there have been a lot of ups & downs and I still have a long way to go, I’m choosing to celebrate what God has done in me so far. I’m happier, more confident, and more responsible. I have a better idea of what I want in a career, a husband, a family, and life in general. Most importantly, I’ve grown closer to God, and I have a better understanding of what being a Christian is all about: accepting God’s grace and living out of the overflow of His love, which He makes very apparent..

While driving back to Stillwater today, “Never Let Go” by David Crowder Band came on the radio. I started singing along, and out of nowhere, I started crying. The sunset was beautiful, and I felt like God made it just for me to enjoy on my drive. I felt totally in love with God, and it was one of those moments that I wish I could bottle up and experience every day. I hope to have more of those moments in 2011, and I pray that everyone will experience the type of joy that comes from being God’s child 🙂

On that note, here are my goals for 2011..

1. Grow in my relationship with God by making it a point to spend time with Him each day

2. Work on being honest with myself & God

3. Read through the whole Bible

4. Maintain a healthy lifestyle

5. Run a half-marathon

6. Smile & laugh more

7. Establish stronger friendships

8. Do a better job of prioritizing my time and activities     

9. Live on a budget

10. Complete 3 Bible studies

11. Write the first 3 chapters of my dissertation

12. Simplify; get rid of things that aren’t useful, beautiful, or cherished

13. Post a blog at least once/week 

14. Learn to crochet (Already did this over Christmas break.. soo I’m changing this goal to “Crochet a whole afghan” 🙂 )

God bless everyone, and happy 2011!!

Mission Trip – Camden, NJ

This past week, I went to Camden, NJ with 21 people from Sunnybrook (mostly people from the Brook). We helped an organization called Urban Promise which is a school for the kids of Camden. There are also after-school programs and dozens of different ministries. It was an awesome week and really opened my eyes to the conditions in which some children and people in the United States live. Seeing and experiencing those neighborhoods of Camden was very overwhelming. There’s so much destruction, hurt, and pain; the kids have to grow up SO fast. I know God is there, but it’s going to take more people choosing to help and spread His Word if these people’s lives are going to be changed. It’s time to stop blaming people for the environment they were born into. Camden is definitely a place that will always be in my heart, and I really hope to keep going back there for mission trips. Hopefully after I graduate, I’ll be more equipped to help with the overall systems-level school management side of things. Even though graduation isn’t for a while, I would definitely appreciate any prayers about what God wants me to do with my life and/or where He wants me to go.. and if Camden is part of the plan. Also, please be praying for a guy from the Brook named Lane. After being at Urban Promise for only a couple of days, he decided to apply for the summer internship and was accepted. He changed up his plans and is living in Camden for the summer.. it’ll definitely be a life-changing experience for him, and I’m looking forward to see how God will use him there. Thanks everyone, and God bless! 🙂

Africa is Calling

I think I need to go to Africa. Why? Because God says so.

I was Facebook creeping a few weeks ago and came across a girl’s profile in one of my friend’s list of friends. (Me = Facebook creep.) She had gone to Illinois State University (where I attended college), and I had not seen or even thought of this girl in years since she was a couple of years older than me. She had pictures up from a mission trip she had taken to Africa. I looked through the pictures and thought about how neat it would be to go there. A day or two later, I was at Wal-Mart when I walked by one of those little stations with the relaxation CD’s. I never stop at those things, but I saw a CD that said something about worship music on the front of it. I picked up the CD and began looking at it. I looked up to see what other CD’s they had, and the first one I looked at was titled something like, “Sounds of Africa” and had a lion on the front of it. I thought it was a little strange, but I didn’t think too much about it. I came home, got on my computer, and went to the website for the company that one of my sisters-in-law works for–Amor Ministries (an organization based in San Diego, CA that arranges short-term mission trips). There was a slideshow on the homepage, and the second slide that came up was for a mission trip to South Africa. Hmm. I told my mom about all of these things, and she kind of freaked out. She thought I was wanted to move to Africa. Anywho.. a couple of days after that, she told me she thought I was right about going to Africa. Apparently she went to a coffee shop and saw a man reading a book about Africa, and he was wearing an African scarf. This may not seem strange to some people, but my hometown is pretty small, surrounded by cornfields, and is not exactly a hub of cultural diversity. God is funny. Then, today I was out to lunch and went to throw away my trash. The TV (which was on a sports channel that happened to be covering the Olympics) was near the trash can, and in the fraction of a second that I looked up at the TV on my way to the trash can, the words “SOUTH AFRICA” popped up in capital letters on the screen. I just kind of smiled and shook my head. Looks like going to Africa may be in my 5-year plan. 🙂

Isaiah 41:13

The fact that my dad and step-dad are not Christians has been bothering me. I’ve learned a lot about Heaven and Hell, and Hell is just not a place I would like either of them to be for eternity.  I’ve been praying that both of them will feel convicted and moved toward a relationship with God (or, for a start, at least go to church). Lately it’s been occurring to me that maybe I’m the person who’s supposed to talk to them about God. Secretly (or not-so-secretly since God just has to know everything 🙂) I’ve been hoping that maybe God will change His mind and just let someone else talk to them. I was at Bible study today when I got a subtle hit upside the heart. The Bible study we’re currently doing is Beth Moore’s Believing God. In the video, Beth said we are always saying to God, “Tell me what to do!” and most of the time, He’s saying to us, “I have told you what to do! You’re just waiting for a new answer!” I thought to myself, “Maybe that doesn’t apply to my situation.” A few minutes later, I received my weekly Bible verse text message. It was Isaiah 41:13. On second thought, maybe it does apply to my situation. As much as I don’t want to, I get it, God. I get it.

James 2:14

I was getting ready for the 8 1/2 hour drive home for Thanksgiving Break, and I needed some last-minute things. As I was walking into the grocery store, I noticed a man sitting in the area between the doors. He had scraggly hair and his clothes were dirty and worn; they had obviously been worn multiple times without being washed. It wasn’t completely apparent that this man was homeless, but it was apparent that he had much less than I did. Something told me that I needed to buy food for him. With the help of God, I just got fired from my bartending job, so I’ve been really short on money and really stressing out about it. Still, I felt like I needed to help this man. So as I was getting my items, I picked up a loaf of bread, a package of turkey, and a package of cheese. While I was checking out, he came into the store, but he went to one of the side areas that looked like there may have been restrooms. By the time I was done checking out, he still hadn’t come out.  I asked the guy who was working at the register if he saw the older man with the yellow jacket come in. He said he had. I handed him the bag of groceries I had got for the man and asked if he could give them to him. He said, “Oh, are you buying his groceries?” and I just told him, “Yes,” and left. As I was walking out to my car, I reached my hand into my sweatshirt pocket to get my keys. I felt something besides my keys and took it out of my pocket—two $20 bills that I had accidentally left in my sweatshirt last weekend.