The Mission of God – Matt Chandler

I love sermons. They’re almost like spoken pieces of art. One of my favorite pastors to listen to is Matt Chandler. I love that he speaks the Truth boldly, yet lovingly. Whenever I listen to sermons at home, they’re usually ones that he’s preached. My friend Rachel suggested that I listen to the “Mission” sermon series from August. I started listening to the first one–The Mission of God–and heard things in the first 5 minutes that I wanted to write down. So I thought I’d write my notes in a blog post.

– You can love the Lord and find yourself in extremely dark places.

– You don’t have to pretty up the Christian faith. The Christian faith isn’t that you’re great. The Christian faith is that He’s great despite you not being great.

– The Psalms are not cute; they don’t belong on t-shirts.

– To be 99% known is to be unknown. You’ve got areas of your life that you’ve pulled back. You’re trying to throw out this aura of being better off than you are, more capable than you are, not stuck in the things that you’re stuck in. You have given the enemy a foothold that he will joyfully take advantage of. It’s why it’s not enough for you to simply be in community, but to, in that community, be honest about where you are–even if that’s, “I’m in a dark place.”

– Don’t over-spiritualize your struggles. Sometimes you just need help; sometimes it’s a chemical issue, and you just need to get help. It’s called common grace; if you need help, get help. It’s a safe place for you to struggle with whatever as long as you’re willing to struggle.

– Take advantage of the weapons God’s given you to combat despair.

– You’ve been given other brothers & sisters that are as imperfect as you are. Sometimes what people around you need is not for you to be strong, but for you to be weak. And in your weakness they’re encouraged, and in your weakness, they’re pushed further into their relationship with Christ. Don’t hide in your despair; it never ends well. I’m not saying you’ll take your life. I’m just saying you’ll isolate yourself and you’ll rob yourself of the joy that Christ died to bring you.

– Tragedy… is one of the few things that kind of wakes you up from the routine you begin to walk in. When [tragedy] occurs, it kind of wakes you up and you see [what’s important]. But on a normal day, those lines are very blurry. On a normal day, just a regular Monday, what’s ultimately important and what’s not so important, that’s kind of a grey area. But in tragedy, all that becomes clear. And so routine & rhythm can be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing. It’s a good thing because you need rhythm and you need routine in order to be productive and to work hard and to make the most of the life God has given you. Routine & rhythm become a bad thing when you forget why you began the routine & rhythm in the first place.

– What is the mission of God? What’s the point of all this? So if you look at creation, it seems a little bit superfluous, doesn’t it? If you begin to look at the universe, it just goes on and on and on and on and the stars and the earth.. I mean, it just seems a bit over-the-top. If our God is the Creator God, He creates everything that is, everything macro, everything micro.. if He’s involved in where the stars stay and He’s involved in your cellular mitosis, what’s He doing? What’s His mission? What’s He about? What’s He trying to accomplish? I think what people do is they look at the world and they look at themselves and through our cultural lens, they assume that God’s mission is about us: “The reason everything exists is so that God might save me, might rescue me, might in the end ultimately have children like we have children where we want to see them mature, we want to see them safe, we want to see them well put-together.. that’s kinda like the mission of God.” They’ll point to the fact that God created us, they’ll point to all the verses in the Bible where God loves us, He provides for us, He cares for us, He shields us, He protects us. They’ll point to that and go, “See.. isn’t it obvious? We’re the point. We’re what God is after.” God is for you. God does love you. God does provide for you. He is a shield about you. He is the lifter of your head. But there’s a motivation behind all that lifting, protecting, guiding, and love that goes well-beyond you. (Psalm 23:1-3) You can see God’s activity towards us; it looks like we are the point. You can do this in a hundred other texts.. except the root of His motivation for all that shepherding, leading, lying in green pastures, leading to still waters, restoring of the soul is clear in the text. Look at [verse] 3 again.. “He restores my soul, He leads me in paths of righteousness for…” what? “His name’s sake.” So why does God love you? What does God pursue you? Why does God shepherd you? Why does God care for you? It’s not because of you. It’s for the sake of His name; it’s for the praise of His glorious grace.

– If you’re the point, everything falls apart.

SCRIPTURE ABOUT GOD’S GLORY

1. Isaiah 43:6-7 — the reason you exist is for the glory of God, the name & the renown of God, & the praise of His infinite perfections

2. Isaiah 49 — God calls Israel for His glory

3. Jeremiah 13 — God delights in making much of himself through people who are lacking

4. Psalm 106 – God rescues Egypt for His glory

5. Romans 9 – God raises up Pharaoh to show His power & His glory

6. Exodus 14 – God defeats Pharaoh by the Red Sea to show His glory

7. Ezekiel 20 – God spared Israel in the wilderness for the glory of His name

8. 2 Samuel – God gave Israel in the Promised Land for the glory of His name

9. 1 Samuel – God did not cast away His people for the glory of His name

10. 2 Kings – God saved Jerusalem from attack for the glory of His name

11. Ezekiel 36 – God restored Israel from exile for the glory of His name

12. John 7 – Jesus sought the glory of His father in all that He did

13. Matthew 5 – Jesus told us to do good works so that God would get glory

14. 1 Peter 2 – Jesus warned that not seeking God’s glory makes faith impossible (certain actions, certain behaviors like church attendance, like being a good person, you believe you when you don’t feel like you’re owed, you’ll get frustrated that God has not given you what He never promised to give you. The good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not that everything starts working out your way. The good news of the Gospel is that God is enough regardless of your circumstances. You get Jesus. That’s the Gospel. You can’t have saving faith if you’re really in this for you.)

15. John 14 – Jesus said that He answers prayers that God would be glorified

16. John 12, 17 – Jesus endured His final hours of suffering for the glory of God

17. John 13 – God gave His son to vindicate the glory of His righteousness

18. Isaiah 43:25, Psalm 25 – God forgives our sin for His own sake

19. Romans 15 – Jesus receives us into his fellowship for the glory of God

20. John 16 – The ministry of the Holy Spirit is the glorify the Son of God

21. 1 Corinthians 10:31 – God instructs us to do everything for His glory

22. 1 Peter 4 – God tells us to serve in a way that will glorify Him

23. 2 Thessalonians 1:9-10 – Jesus is coming again for the glory of God

24. Habakkuk 2 – God’s plan is to fill the earth with the knowledge of His glory

25. Romans 11 – Everything that happens will redound for the glory of God

26. Revelation 23 – In the new Jerusalem, the glory of God replaces the sun

– The point of the Bible is God; it’s not you. You’re not even in 2nd place.

– If God is after the praise of His glorious grace, then He is not after my begrudging submission, but rather after my joy so that all the commands in Scripture are about God lining you up with how He designed things to be for your greater joy.

– How unbelievably arrogant it is of you to say “I’m here for a second in the scope of eternity and I know better for me, what’s going to lead me into joy, than the One who created all things and wired all things.”

– God’s commands on our lives are meant to lead us into delight, joy. What about suffering? What do you do with those moments that are hard, that are painful? How is God increasing my joy in allowing dark days to come? By being enough on those dark days.

– God leads us into joy in suffering by being present and sustaining through that suffering.

– The love of God towards me as a sinner is not God making much of me, but rather Him freeing me up to make much of Him.

– We’re simply tapping into this deep, base purpose of our existence, which is worship. When you go to that concert and you’ve got that feeling of all that energy and you’re just kinda caught up in this euphoric moment, the reason that feels so good is it’s what you were created for. The problem is what you’re worshiping continues to fail you… So you have to look for another high, another worship experience. If you start to think about sports and music… we do with those things what God has commanded us to do with Him.

– What God has enabled me to do in saving me is to spend my days making much of Him. And He never gets old, and He never lets me down, and He never ever runs out of areas for me to gaze up and to wonder at and to make much of.

– The most spectacular place where you see a man set free to glory in God is when suffering is occurring and all they have is praise for Him because that goes against the grain.

– If God is for God, and our joy is inseparably linked to God being for God, and God’s salvation of us is not ultimately about us but rather setting us free to make much of Him, then Heaven is a ever-increasing experience of these glories. (Ephesians 2 – In the coming ages, God will show to us the riches of His grace in Christ Jesus.) A billion years from now, those of you who are believers will just be scratching the surface of how infinite the joy of God is.

– You have got to get over YOU. You’re not the point, and the more you think you’re the point, the more you will be enslaved to a thousand vices. When you’re the point, you use others. When you’re the point, you will easily be angered and bothered by others… When things don’t line up like you want them to line up, you’re just seething looking for someone to blame. Why? Because it’s about you. But when it’s not about you, you’re free. When it’s not about you, you get to extend grace, When it’s not about you, you get to rest. When it’s not about you, you get to breathe, When it’s not about you, you’ll sleep better. When it’s not about you, you’ll be happier. I don’t use the word happy. Happy is cheap substitute for joy, and it’s fleeting. But I’ll straight up throw this out.. when it’s not about you, you’ll be happier. But when it is about you, the more I think you’ll be miserable.

I am truly blown away by how amazing God is and how much greater His plan is than anything any person could ever come up with. I pray that I can continue learning how to make much of Him with my life rather than much of myself, my life, my desires, etc. I’m so thankful to be His child 🙂

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In case you ever wondered…

1. I believe God created everything.

2. I believe Jesus is both human & divine.

3. I believe Jesus died in our place for our sin.

4. I believe there is nothing we can do to impress God or to make Him love us more.

5. I believe we are saved by God’s grace by believing in Jesus’s sacrifice.

6. I believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God.

7. I believe the Bible is the final authority in all matters.

8. I believe in the Holy Spirit.

9. I believe God sends His Spirit to convict people of their sin.

10. I believe God gives His Spirit to those who believe in Him.

11. I believe Jesus is coming back for His followers.

12. I believe the Church will spend eternity with God.

13. I believe God will judge the world through Jesus (Acts 17).

14. I believe the Church is the hope of the world.

15. I believe God’s glory is the greatest thing.

16. I believe God is about being glorified above everything else.

17. I believe the followers of Jesus regularly repent of sin.

18. I believe we should forgive one another in the same way Jesus forgives us.

19. I believe we are called to live holy lives.

20. I believe God is holy.

21. I believe we should care for the poor.

22. I believe truth is not relative.

23. I believe giving is natural for the followers of Jesus.

24. I believe the cost of following Jesus is worth it.

25. I believe worship is really important; it’s more than singing–it’s a heart & mind devoted to the things of God.

26. I believe we should be on guard against religious righteousness.

27. I believe discipleship happens best at home.

28. I believe we are called to share our faith in Jesus with others; the story you are called to share is the story of what God is doing in your life.

29. I believe people who don’t believe in Jesus will spend eternity in Hell.

30. I believe missions happen because worship doesn’t.

31. I believe God humbles the proud and gives grace to the humble.

32. I believe in submitting to one another.

33. I believe in reading the Scripture.

34. I believe in memorizing the Scripture.

35. I believe in taking all of our anxiety to God in prayer.

36. I believe in sharing one another’s burdens.

37. I believe in living life together.

38. I believe the followers of Jesus are new creations.

39. I believe the mission of Jesus is worth any sacrifice.

What do YOU believe?

Joy & Condemnation

Last weekend, the Brook went to the Passion conference in Dallas. Overall, it was a pretty good weekend, and I learned a lot. The thing that stuck with me the most was something that John Piper said. His sermon was on joy. He asked us, “What is the bottom of your joy?” and gave us an illustration; there is a college student who is majoring in psychology and is happy that she did well on an exam. If someone were to ask her, “Why are you happy about that?” she would said, “Because I want to do well in this class.” If someone were to keep asking that same question for each answer that she gave, she would eventually end up with, “Because I like helping people.” According to Piper, if she can’t answer the question “What are you happy about that?” at this point, it is where her joy stops, and she isn’t a Christian. However, if she can go past that and go on to say, “Because that is what God has made me to do and how He’s called me to glorify Him,” she is a Christian. This really got me thinking. Is Christ really the bottom or the foundation of everything that I do? Overall, Piper’s message was wonderful, but it led to a lot of questions and anxiety for me. I kept asking myself questions…

…What if God’s glory isn’t at the bottom of my joy?

…How do I even know what’s at the bottom of my joy?

…How can I change the bottom of my joy?

…Am I really saved if God’s glory isn’t at the bottom of my joy?

On Monday, Scot texted everyone who went to the conference to let either him or Drew know if we wanted to get together to discuss anything from the conference, especially John Piper’s message. Of course, I said I wanted to so we met today. During our conversation about the conference, Scot said I reminded him a lot of himself.

He gave me the following two verses to consider:

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:1 (ESV)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

I had heard these verses before, but I hadn’t thought about the fact that what I’ve been doing is considered self-condemnation. I have so much anxiety about a lot of things, and I’m so hard on myself  instead of giving my worries to God and letting Him take care of them. That is really something that I need to work on; instead of being upset and dwelling on something, I need to ask God for help and ask Him to work in my life so that His will is done. I have a feeling that is much easier said than done..

Repentance

* Ask yourself this question & think about it before reading any further: If life got really good, what would it look like?

 

Church today was amazing. Sunday school was amazing, worship was amazing, and the sermon was amazing. During the sermon, Jim talked about repentance (Mark 1:9-15). Normally I wouldn’t think a sermon about repentance was amazing. I always get uncomfortable reading or hearing about repentance because the idea of feeling bad about everything I do just doesn’t sound very enjoyable to me. So when Jim said, “Does repenting mean feeling bad? No,” it caught my attention. He went on to explain that there are two different kinds of sorrow–Godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. Godly sorrow leads to repentance which leads to change; worldly sorrow doesn’t bring about change. Feeling bad is something, but it’s not enough. Feeling bad is a sign that something is wrong, but a lot of people never seek help or do anything differently as a result of feeling bad. Basically, we shouldn’t feel like we’re doing something right by feeling bad, or as Jim put it, “Don’t feel good about feeling bad.” 

God wants to be the Lord of your life. He desires us to recognize who He is, to change, and to give Him glory by living our lives accordingly, not just asking for help in certain parts of our lives or at certain times. Living for God’s Kingdom changes everything we think and do; has God’s reign in your life changed what you think and do? Or are you still following your own way of thinking and behaving? God doesn’t forget His plan or purpose in the midst of your rebellion; is God’s will and purpose being worked out in your life or are you busy building your own kingdom by doing what only makes you happy? 

The whole American idea of retirement is spending the last years of your life enjoying the little kingdom you’ve built and glorifying yourself. Is that really what you want to do with the last years before you die and come face to face with God? What are you going to say to God when He asks you to explain what you did for His Kingdom versus what you did for yours? The Bible instructs us to do two things: repent & believe.

– Repent of yourself; even the good things we do are for selfish reasons. We don’t even know how far our good things are from the will of God. We’re not good people who occasionally do bad things; we are all broken, chasing our own dreams, following our own agendas, and completely disregarding God’s purpose most of the time. In this way, we are all lost until we accept the fact that we need a Savior, and Jesus is it.

– Believe the Good News; even though you’re undeserving, God loves you anyway. He’s worth more than anything the world can give you.

..so after reading all of that, ask yourself this question again: If life got really good, what would it look like?

Colossians 1:13-20

In Sunday school today, we covered Colossians 1:13-20. We talked about the supremacy of Christ and went through 15 characteristics of Jesus. (Keep in mind these are talking specifically about Jesus, not God.)

1. He brought redemption (v. 14); Jesus paid for our sins and died our death.

2. He is the image of the invisible God (v. 15); Jesus IS God.

3. He’s the firstborn over all creation (v. 15); in Jewish culture, the word for “firstborn” reflected importance rather than order. This verse is saying that Jesus was considered the most important man out of all creation.

4. By him, all things were created (v. 16); please don’t miss the enormity of “all things.” This includes all physical matter, all people, all immeasurable things such as love and pain, and even Satan.

5. All things were created through him (v. 16)

6. All things were created for him (v. 16)

7. He is before all things (v. 17)

8. In him, all things hold together (v.17); this is probably the most significant one for me. Jesus holds all things together, which means he held together the wood and the nails of the cross from which he was hung. He willed the executioners to carry out his killing. Think about that for a second. He could have stopped it at any point, but he loves people so much that, regardless of our sin and rebellion, he willingly held all things together while he was being beaten, dragged, whipped, kicked, spit on, and finally pierced and hung on the cross.

9. He is the head of the body/church (v. 18)

10. He is the beginning (v. 18)

11. He is the firstborn from among the dead (v. 18); keep in mind the Jewish meaning of the word “firstborn” (importance vs. order).

12. In everything, he has supremacy (v. 18)

13. In him, all the fullness of God dwells (v. 19)

14. He reconciles all things (v. 20); by offering himself as a sacrifice, he brings all people who accept him as their Savior back to God.

15. He makes peace through his blood, shed on the cross (v. 20); he satisfied the wrath that God had because of humanity’s sin and disobedience to Him. 

After going over those 15 characteristics, we concluded with 3 reflections:

1. Jesus is God; therefore, we exist to worship him.

2. Jesus is who he is regardless of whether or not you believe it. In a world full of ideas about relative truth, it’s hard to believe, but there is absolute Truth.

3. Satan & his demons were created for Jesus and by him; if Jesus can handle Satan, he can handle your problems if you give them to him.

..and by His wounds, we are healed.

Easter is tomorrow!! It’s amazing how much more Easter means to me this year. I went to the Good Friday service last night and watched The Passion of the Christ. It was so much more meaningful than it was the first time I watched it (7th grade.. about 10 years ago). I understood so much more, and seeing it all played out on screen made me grasp the events in the story of Jesus a lot better. It also made me much more aware and humbled of what Jesus did. I am so grateful. Our head pastor, Jim, read an excerpt from a book that really drove the message home for me. It also takes some issues of the present day into account. I’ve posted it below. For anyone who is a follower, I hope this will touch your heart and renew your faith. For anyone who is not a believer or who is unsure, I hope that this will also touch your heart, but even more than that, I hope that your heart will be changed. You have already been given the ultimate form of grace. Jesus placed the weight of all of the sin in the world–including yours–on Himself. He willingly received the punishment that all of mankind deserves. I know of no greater love. You need only to accept it. God bless everyone & HAPPY EASTER!!

From When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada…

“The Savior was now thrown to men quite different from the eleven. The face that Moses had begged to see—was forbidden to see—was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth’s rebellion now twisted around his own brow…

“On your back with you!” One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier’s heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner’s wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier’s life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do “all things hold together” (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the solider live on—he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm—the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless—the nerves perform exquisitely. “Up you go!” They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being—the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father’s eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

“Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped—murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed overspent, overeaten—fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk—you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp—buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves—relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?”

Of course, the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.

The Father watches as his heart’s treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah’s stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

“Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!” (Mark 15:34)

But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.”

A Woman After God’s Own Heart

We had another relationship night at the Brook. It was pretty much amazing. Four couples from the church talked to us about what qualities you should look for in a partner as well as how to be a Godly partner. It was really neat hearing everyone’s opinions on marriage, and I really learned a lot. Here are the couples so you have a better idea of where they’re all coming from (I included only their initials because I’m not sure if they would want such personal information floating around the internet):

R.V. & R.V: early-mid 20’s; married 3 years

D.M & A.M: mid-late 20’s; married 4 years

B.S & M.S: mid 30’s; married 16 years

J.W & R.W: early-mid 40’s; married 21 years

We split up into guys & girls, and the married women talked to the girls about what they looked for or what they love about their husbands (and the married men talked to the guys about the same thing). Then, we switched, and the married men talked to all the girls about what they love about their wife and, basically, how to be a Godly woman (and the married woman did the same with the guys). Here is what I took away from each person. The information may not seem very cohesive, but it’s good stuff 🙂

QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN A HUSBAND:

R.V: (1) Make a list of the qualities that you want in a husband. Then, flip the page over and make a list of the qualities of the woman that would go with that man. Then, work on becoming the woman that goes with that man. You need to become the person you should be in a marriage before you find your husband. (2) Find someone who is passionate about God and helping lost people and who you can share the gospel with. Unless you’re both working for God, it won’t be the marriage you want it to be; you’ll both be going in different directions, and it’ll be very hard for you as a Christian woman to submit to and follow a man who isn’t putting God first. (3) Find someone who has a genuine kindness about them and who has a serving spirit. How do they treat their mother? How do they treat their servers, cashiers, and other people who are helping them? These are all very big indicators of how you’ll be treated after the “honeymoon stage” is over.

A.M.: (1) Look for someone with integrity, who you can trust with big and small things. A man who is willing to lie or neglect to tell you about the small things won’t be easily trusted with the big things. (2) As a Christian, your relationship is something people are going to watch to see what you’re doing; be aware that you’re both very visible. For this reason, let your relationship be a good example for both Christians and non-Christians of what an appropriate dating relationship should be like (i.e., no sex, no sleeping over, etc.) (3) Find someone who cherishes you, loves you, and serves you no matter what. While A.M. was pregnant with their daughter, D.M. would make it a point to bring her flowers & tell her she looked beautiful just as he did before she was pregnant, especially when she was nearing the end of her pregnancy when most women feel far from beautiful.

M.S.: (1) Find someone who will be committed to you for the long haul. When B.S. realized their relationship was headed toward marriage, one of the first things he told her was that divorce was not an option and was never going to be an option regardless of what happened. He expected them both to be in it for life and to keep the promises they made to each other on their wedding day. (2) Find someone who has a desire to grow spiritually & continually improve their relationship with Christ. This does not mean they never have questions, doubts, or struggles. It does mean, however, that they will always fall back on their relationship with God and have an inner desire and drive to improve that relationship.

R.W.: (1) Find someone who will be a spiritual leader; your husband will either lead you toward God or away from God. (2) Find someone who is gracious. No one is perfect; everyone will mess up from time to time, and you need someone who will forgive you, who understands that they should give the grace that has been given to them by God, and who will let you be imperfect. (3) Find someone with an unwavering eye. As mentioned in my last post, a man’s standard of beauty should be his wife; he should only have eyes for you. (And yes, there are men like this out there. They may be few and far-between in some settings, but they are there.) (4) Find someone who will be a missionary to your family (if you don’t come from a Christian home).

HOW TO BE A GODLY WOMAN:

R.V.: (1) Shortly after becoming engaged, R.V.’s wife said to him, “You’re not my God. I don’t have an overwhelming need for you in my life. I’m never going to hold you at a standard you’ll never be able to meet. If you mess up, my world isn’t going to fall apart.” The point is that a guy isn’t the end-all, be-all to a girl; you are complete in Christ. No person will ever be able to fill the need you have for a relationship with God so you should never hold them to that standard. (2) As a woman, you need to be willing to stand up to your husband (respectfully) and be the voice of reason in your marriage. Most men, especially younger ones, have a tendency to let their imaginations run wild and come up with all kinds of ideas that may not be the most practical for real life. When this happens, don’t be a pushover; you should be able to go to your husband and bring him back down to Earth. (3) Make your marriage a ministry for others. This is somewhat related to what (the female) R.V. (:)) was talking about when she said to look for someone who is passionate about serving God and helping lost people. As a couple, you have 2 brains, 2 hearts, 4 hands, and 4 feet to serve. Use those to your advantage.

D.M.: (1) Make sure you are intentional about not manipulating your husband; this means no games, no eye-rolling, no silent treatments, and no working for yourself in the marriage. Women are very good at manipulating men, especially when men are emotionally involved. (2) Don’t be materialistic. D.M. said one of his favorite things about A.M. is that she doesn’t like “stuff.” She doesn’t place too much value in possessions or spending money when she doesn’t need to. She would rather use that money to serve and help further God’s kingdom.

B.S.: (1) Just as M.S. said, be committed to your marriage & raising a Godly family. (2) Try your best to continually improve your relationship with God and to honor God in everything you do; as you work to honor God more, your marriage relationship will automatically improve.

J.W.: (1) Give grace freely, even when your husband doesn’t deserve it; understand that he is only human and will mess up just as you will. It’s inevitable. (2) Fear the Lord. (This does not mean to literally be scared of God. Although His wrath is part of Him, His love far outweighs it.) This is what J.W.’s favorite thing about his wife is. R.W. is constantly pursuing God and showing her respect and reverence for Him by reading her Bible, praying for people, helping with church functions, mentoring young women, and spreading the Word whenever she can.

Proverbs 31:30

Last night at the Brook, we started a series on relationships, dating, marriage, sex, etc. This is probably one of my favorite topics to study in the context of Christianity, most likely because I’ve had so many issues with dating in the past, and dating God’s way is so different from typical dating. In order to get a better idea of how God views dating and relationships, we looked at Song of Solomon 1:1-11. Here is the passage and the notes that I took: Song of Songs

Here are some of the main points of the sermon:

– Women, your heart is more valuable to a godly man than anything else.

– Men, your character is more valuable to a godly woman than anything else.

– There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married, with wanting to have a partner in life. God wired us this way.

– Ask your close friends to be honest with you and ask, “Is there anything unattractive about my character that would prevent me from attracting a godly man/woman?”

– With young couples there is a lot of pushing into the bedroom rather than giving or asking to take. If someone pushes, walk away.

– How far is too far? Don’t do anything in private that you wouldn’t do in front of your parents. Nothing should be unzipped or unbuttoned prior to marriage. This prevents people from going through a world of pain should the relationship not work out. It also keeps your bodies a mystery to each other, and you have that much more to give your husband/wife on your wedding night. And the sex is that much better and fulfilling (i.e., “more explosive”) when you’re married (which is the real reason Christians prefer to wait to have sex 🙂 Just kidding. Kind of.)

– If your boyfriend or girlfriend won’t obey God outside of marriage, (s)he won’t obey God while you’re married.

– Every woman comes accessorized with other women. Men not only have to impress the girl he is interested in; he has to impress her friends too.

– Submissiveness is a very attractive quality to a godly man.

– To a godly man, there is nothing more unattractive than a woman who belittles her appearance.

– It takes a whole lot of man to please a godly woman.

– God wired men to admire a woman’s beauty (Note: This means men are wired to appreciate the beauty that is naturally found in one woman [i.e., his wife]. This does NOT mean God wired men to lust after or behold all women as if they are on display for their sexual pleasure. Big difference.)

– A man’s wife should be his standard of beauty. He should never stop telling her how beautiful he thinks she is.

– It’s natural to want to be close to the one you love. This does not mean you’re needy or weak.

– The lure you fish with determines the kind of fish you catch; if you dress/act/speak like trash, you will attract trash. And trash stinks.