What is the G.O.S.P.E.L.?

39

In case you ever wondered…

1. I believe God created everything.

2. I believe Jesus is both human & divine.

3. I believe Jesus died in our place for our sin.

4. I believe there is nothing we can do to impress God or to make Him love us more.

5. I believe we are saved by God’s grace by believing in Jesus’s sacrifice.

6. I believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God.

7. I believe the Bible is the final authority in all matters.

8. I believe in the Holy Spirit.

9. I believe God sends His Spirit to convict people of their sin.

10. I believe God gives His Spirit to those who believe in Him.

11. I believe Jesus is coming back for His followers.

12. I believe the Church will spend eternity with God.

13. I believe God will judge the world through Jesus (Acts 17).

14. I believe the Church is the hope of the world.

15. I believe God’s glory is the greatest thing.

16. I believe God is about being glorified above everything else.

17. I believe the followers of Jesus regularly repent of sin.

18. I believe we should forgive one another in the same way Jesus forgives us.

19. I believe we are called to live holy lives.

20. I believe God is holy.

21. I believe we should care for the poor.

22. I believe truth is not relative.

23. I believe giving is natural for the followers of Jesus.

24. I believe the cost of following Jesus is worth it.

25. I believe worship is really important; it’s more than singing–it’s a heart & mind devoted to the things of God.

26. I believe we should be on guard against religious righteousness.

27. I believe discipleship happens best at home.

28. I believe we are called to share our faith in Jesus with others; the story you are called to share is the story of what God is doing in your life.

29. I believe people who don’t believe in Jesus will spend eternity in Hell.

30. I believe missions happen because worship doesn’t.

31. I believe God humbles the proud and gives grace to the humble.

32. I believe in submitting to one another.

33. I believe in reading the Scripture.

34. I believe in memorizing the Scripture.

35. I believe in taking all of our anxiety to God in prayer.

36. I believe in sharing one another’s burdens.

37. I believe in living life together.

38. I believe the followers of Jesus are new creations.

39. I believe the mission of Jesus is worth any sacrifice.

What do YOU believe?

Matthew 5:14

“You are the light of the world..” I don’t feel too bright most of the time. Actually, most of the time I feel like a candle in the midst of winds blowing all directions, struggling to stay lit. I don’t want to be influenced by the world. I want to stick with the Truth of God’s Word. But it’s so difficult to do that when the ideas I hear on an almost-daily basis sometimes go completely against what I’m putting my faith in; “Sometimes you have to lie to people; that’s just how life is,” “You need to _(insert lots of things here)_ in order to be successful,” “You can love God and still be the person you want to be.” I don’t want to believe any of that. I don’t want to live that way. But I also don’t always do the best job of actively seeking God on an everyday basis like I should in order to have the relationship with Him that I want. I know I should make it a point to sit down & just pray every day. I do pray everyday, but it seems like it’s always in passing or while I’m doing something else. I want to devote more time to just God. Hopefully I can learn to do a better job of prioritizing and devoting more time to what’s really important.. improving my relationship with my Savior. I know if I do that, I can be the light that God wants me to be.

James 4:6

So.. you know when you reach that point where you haven’t been spending enough time with God and you just break? When you have this nagging feeling that you just need to stop being so bull-headed, stop getting in God’s way, stop being so distracted, and just shut up & listen? Well, I got to that point today. I love when God nags me.. not really while He’s in the process of nagging me, but after I give in, it’s a good thing. I’ve been struggling a LOT with anxiety lately.. not so much the past week, but it was really bad the week before that. When I’m in that state, it’s SO hard to get myself back to a stable place where I’m not freaking out, worrying, being agitated about something (or everything), or feeling like the universe is caving in on me. During my little chit chat with God today, I decided to give up and give it all to Him. I mean, He knows what’s going to happen anyway, so why would I try to trust myself to figure something out when he already has all the info? He’s got this covered. Duh.

I’m currently reading C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity. While reading this book, God smacked me upside the head and made me realize something… I have a problem with pride. Really? I didn’t even know I struggled with pride until I read the chapter about it in this book, but it’s so clear now. I think part of my anxiety problem is from being so concerned about myself  and my future all the time. Here’s an excerpt from the chapter:

“I do not think I have ever heard anyone who was not a Christian accuse himself of this vice. And at the same time I have very seldom met anyone, who was not a Christian, who showed the slightest mercy to it in others. There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others… According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.

Does this seem to you exaggerated? If so, think it over. I pointed out a moment ago that the more pride one had, the more one disliked pride in others. In fact, if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest  way is to ask yourself, ‘How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronize me, or show off?’ The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with everyone else’s pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise… Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest.”

Wow. That really got me thinking about how prideful I am about certain things and about what kinds of things people are usually prideful about. Are we responsible for how attractive, smart, talented, rich, athletic, etc. we are? Umm, NO. That would be GOD who made us that way, who gave us those talents, who blessed us in those ways, who bestowed upon us His GRACE PLUS SOME. So why do we feel all high & mighty when we see someone who isn’t at the same level we’re at in regards to one of these areas? What’s crazy is that some people reach this point in regards to their salvation and being a Christian! “Well, I’M saved.. but SHE really needs to change some things.” I doubt these words rarely come out of people’s mouths, but I’m certain they cross people’s minds in some variation or another. It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever; whatever we possess, whether it be tangible or not, comes from God. But people don’t think of it that way. For some reason, whatever it is about ourselves that we value, instead of thanking God for it and making it a non-issue or using for His glory, we get all snooty and act like we’re responsible for it. Some people may say things like, “But I am responsible for my wealth.. I worked hard to earn my money!” or “I have big muscles, and I can bench press 2,394 pounds because I put the work in!” or “I get good grades because I’m smarter than most people.” (usually said in a pretentious tone as if they made themselves smart) Seriously? Who gave you the ability to work? Who gave your body all the intricacies necessary for building muscle and strength? Who blessed you with above-average intelligence? And if you have this money or this physical strength or intellect (or whatever else), what are you using it for? Sponsoring a child or donating to a service organization? Building houses for the homeless or helping with projects? Teaching children or developing a treatment for an illness? Helping anyone at all for the glory of God? Or just using it to glorify yourself and follow your own agenda?

According to Lewis, “The real test of being in the presence of God is, that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether.” I would have to agree with him to some extent; however, self-loathing is still self-worship, so even if you are always thinking poorly of yourself, you are still focused on yourself rather than on loving God and loving other people. So basically, we’re all somewhere on our own continuums of how we feel about ourselves when we shouldn’t even being on our own continuum at all; we should be on someone else’s continuum building them up, making them feel worthy, and letting them see more of God than of ourselves. Don’t get me wrong.. I don’t think we should just neglect ourselves. We are, after all, products of God’s creation, and I’m pretty sure He doesn’t call us to stupidity. We still need to take care of ourselves and our families—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually—but only to the point of necessity and by leaning on Him; for it is by our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength that we are able to help and love others.

I think that’s enough for now. It just drives me crazy when people (myself included) take credit for something they had nothing to do with, especially when the One who actually deserves the credit rarely receives it in comparison to how often we pat ourselves on the back. So much to pray about..

Mission Trip – Camden, NJ

This past week, I went to Camden, NJ with 21 people from Sunnybrook (mostly people from the Brook). We helped an organization called Urban Promise which is a school for the kids of Camden. There are also after-school programs and dozens of different ministries. It was an awesome week and really opened my eyes to the conditions in which some children and people in the United States live. Seeing and experiencing those neighborhoods of Camden was very overwhelming. There’s so much destruction, hurt, and pain; the kids have to grow up SO fast. I know God is there, but it’s going to take more people choosing to help and spread His Word if these people’s lives are going to be changed. It’s time to stop blaming people for the environment they were born into. Camden is definitely a place that will always be in my heart, and I really hope to keep going back there for mission trips. Hopefully after I graduate, I’ll be more equipped to help with the overall systems-level school management side of things. Even though graduation isn’t for a while, I would definitely appreciate any prayers about what God wants me to do with my life and/or where He wants me to go.. and if Camden is part of the plan. Also, please be praying for a guy from the Brook named Lane. After being at Urban Promise for only a couple of days, he decided to apply for the summer internship and was accepted. He changed up his plans and is living in Camden for the summer.. it’ll definitely be a life-changing experience for him, and I’m looking forward to see how God will use him there. Thanks everyone, and God bless! 🙂

Spring Fling 2010

So tonight I spoke at an event at Sunnybrook called Spring Fling. The theme was “Beauty From the Inside Out,” and it was for 5th-12th grade girls and their moms. It was an amazing event with sooo much good information for the girls about purity, modesty, and how to be an overall good Christian girl. I think I might have learned just as much as the girls did 🙂

Anyway, I was asked to give my testimony. We had 2 practices before the actual event.. I could barely talk during one of them because I was crying so hard, and I didn’t cry at all at the other one so I was a little nervous. I think it ended up going pretty well.. mainly because I didn’t cry. Helping with this event really allowed me see how the bad choices I made in my life before becoming a Christian can help other people, especially young girls. Of course there will be girls who will have to make poor choices for themselves to appreciate their relationship with God, but if I can help even 1 girl by telling my story, it’s completely worth all the pain I went through and mistakes I made. It’s amazing to be able to look back on my life and see how every mistake, every heartbreak, and every choice has led me up to where I am now. I’m so grateful that God has changed me, and I can’t wait to see what He has in store 🙂

..and by His wounds, we are healed.

Easter is tomorrow!! It’s amazing how much more Easter means to me this year. I went to the Good Friday service last night and watched The Passion of the Christ. It was so much more meaningful than it was the first time I watched it (7th grade.. about 10 years ago). I understood so much more, and seeing it all played out on screen made me grasp the events in the story of Jesus a lot better. It also made me much more aware and humbled of what Jesus did. I am so grateful. Our head pastor, Jim, read an excerpt from a book that really drove the message home for me. It also takes some issues of the present day into account. I’ve posted it below. For anyone who is a follower, I hope this will touch your heart and renew your faith. For anyone who is not a believer or who is unsure, I hope that this will also touch your heart, but even more than that, I hope that your heart will be changed. You have already been given the ultimate form of grace. Jesus placed the weight of all of the sin in the world–including yours–on Himself. He willingly received the punishment that all of mankind deserves. I know of no greater love. You need only to accept it. God bless everyone & HAPPY EASTER!!

From When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada…

“The Savior was now thrown to men quite different from the eleven. The face that Moses had begged to see—was forbidden to see—was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth’s rebellion now twisted around his own brow…

“On your back with you!” One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier’s heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner’s wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier’s life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do “all things hold together” (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the solider live on—he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm—the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless—the nerves perform exquisitely. “Up you go!” They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being—the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father’s eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

“Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped—murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed overspent, overeaten—fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk—you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp—buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves—relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?”

Of course, the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.

The Father watches as his heart’s treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah’s stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

“Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!” (Mark 15:34)

But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.”

The Beginning of My Journey

I’ve been going through an extraordinary transformation in my life. As a warning, this is very honest & rather personal, but after some consideration and inspiration from other people sharing their own personal struggles, I feel compelled to share my story with hopes that (1) it might inspire or help someone else and (2) it’ll help to keep me accountable on my journey. Anyway, here it goes…

I’ve felt a pull from God for some time, but I don’t think I ever realized that’s what it was until about a week ago. I was always the girl with the boyfriend. I never meant for it to work out that way; it just kind of happened. I would be in a long-term relationship with a guy, we would break up, and I would start dating another guy soon thereafter. I wasn’t promiscuous; I wasn’t a “whore” or a “slut.” I was always committed to the person I was with. However, there was always something that didn’t feel right. I always had some weird, nagging feeling about the relationship, but I could never figure out exactly what it was. Obviously, those relationships didn’t work out, but I was always able to bounce back & move on.. with the exception of my last long-term relationship. I was with the person I thought I was going to marry. I had started planning my life around his plans and where he was going to be for his military career. Then, after a string of events, things ended very badly, and I was completely devastated. I felt like my life was falling apart. It took over 10 months to work past the pain, and sometimes I’m still not sure that I’m completely over it. Regardless, that relationship led to me planning what I thought was going to be our life together and that planning led me to Stillwater, Oklahoma State University for graduate school, and, in turn, Sunnybrook Christian Church. This is when everything changed.

I feel like I should stop here to provide some background information because if I would have read something like this a couple years ago, I would have seen the person writing it as a socially-awkward, conservative, Bible-thumping religious fanatic who lived a sheltered life, didn’t know anything about any real-world issues, and just hid in their rooms on the weekends knitting or playing video games. (If you don’t really know me, you probably had similar judgments going through your head about me. It’s okay.) I never went to church as a kid aside from going to youth group and Sunday school for maybe a couple of months in junior high. There was a very, very low point my freshman year of college when I wasn’t sure if I believed in God at all. I didn’t understand how I could be going through everything that was happening in my life and be in so much pain if He really existed. Although I did go to church some in college after I worked through that rough time, it wasn’t regularly, and I didn’t ever establish a group of Christian friends or get involved in a small group or Bible study. I decided I did believe in God, but I would quickly change the radio station if it was a Christian station because I felt a sudden, weird sense of anxiety. (I’m guessing you may have felt that way in the same situation.) I didn’t feel comfortable in church. I kind of felt like I was faking it, but I felt better for just being there physically.. and hey, I did believe in God. Not only did I believe in God, but I got to have fun too. I drank and partied, had sex, and smoked (not just cigarettes) on occasion. I lived the typical college life. But I was also in a service sorority; was dedicating my life to helping kids with special needs; associated myself with good people; and was honest, open-minded, hard-working, and compassionate. (Any of that sound familiar?)

Now that you know I wasn’t raised in a bubble, I’ll continue..

I’m not sure what drew me to Sunnybrook in the first place. All I know is that it was one of the first places I saw when I came to Stillwater looking for an apartment, and I looked at the website. I decided I would try it out once I moved to Stillwater, which is what I did. In the same way that I’m not sure what drew me to Sunnybrook, I’m also not sure what made me want to get so involved in the church. Like I mentioned previously, I was never involved in anything other than going to church on Sundays. (Occasionally. If I felt like it. And if I wasn’t too busy. Or too tired. Or nursing a hungover.) Nevertheless, I started going to the college Sunday school, the normal church service on Sundays, a small group, Financial Peace University (an awesome money management program.. check it out), and the Brook (the college church service). I basically threw myself into church, and I had no idea why I was doing it. All I know is that it led to a feeling of conviction, like I was doing something right, like I wanted to be closer to God. I just wasn’t sure how to do it. In my small group, we started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan (which is an outstanding book, by the way. Very humbling, but outstanding. Go buy it. Right now. Seriously.) Reading this book led to a huge realization. I thought I had been a Christian all my life. Because I said I believed in God, went to church on Sundays, and was, overall, a good person, I was a Christian, right? Wrong. This has been a difficult realization for me, but no. I haven’t been. I thought I was, but being a good person and being a Christian are two vastly different things. There are many good people who aren’t Christians. In my case, I was living my life the way I wanted to, which was far from how I feel that God wanted me to live. Basically, I had never had a real relationship with God before moving to Stillwater, and I certainly didn’t live my life or make decisions based on what God wanted for me. I thought I knew who God was and what being a Christian consisted of; I realize now that I had absolutely no idea. I was a “lukewarm Christian,” as Chan says.

Then, I started “talking” to a guy. Again. Go figure. Only this time was different because I couldn’t ignore the weird, nagging feeling I always had when I started dating someone new. It wasn’t something I could work through and forget about like before, but I definitely tried. It was so much harder this time. I started wondering if it was the right thing to do, so I talked to my pastor (Joe) about it. He thought I would benefit from hearing a woman’s perspective, so he relayed my concerns and questions to his wife (Ruthann). Before we had a chance to meet, the guy came to visit me, and I reverted back to my former ways—drinking, partying, etc.

Then, on Thursday, October 29, 2009, I had an amazing conversation that has changed my life. With the help of Ruthann, I realized that I’ve had this yearning for God and a need to have a relationship with Him my whole life. I just never realized that’s what it was. Because I didn’t realize it, I always tried to fill that hole in my heart and in my life with a guy, and that’s what led me to go from relationship to relationship, continually getting attached, and continually getting hurt. (For those of you who have read this far and are thinking this doesn’t apply to you because you haven’t been a “serial monogamist” as I have, there are lots of other things you could be using in an attempt to fill that same God-shaped hole you may have—food, alcohol, partying, sex, cutting, an eating disorder, smoking, drugs, shopping, gambling, work, you-fill-in-the-blank. Be real with yourself, and ask, “What do I go to for satisfaction? What do I try to use to cope when I’m stressed/sad/angry/upset/lonely/overwhelmed/happy/excited/anxious/etc.?” You can probably answer it if you’re truly honest and upfront with yourself.) In terms of the relationships I was in, that person could never fill the odd kind of emptiness I felt. They could never completely fulfill my emotional needs, I couldn’t fill theirs, and there was always something missing or wrong with the relationship. I’ve learned that this is because I wasn’t putting God first in my life. I always put the person I was in a relationship with first and didn’t acknowledge God like I should have. That was the day I decided I needed to change how I made decisions. I broke things off with the guy that night. That was the first decision that I’ve ever made based on what I felt God wants for me. Then, weird things began happening.

I’ve been considering baptism, but I wasn’t completely sure if it was the right thing to do at this point in my life. I hadn’t said anything to anyone about it; it was my own personal issue. On Sunday (November 1), I was sitting in church and told God that I was unsure of how to make this decision and that I was going to need a sign or two. About an hour later, I was walking around Wal-Mart talking to my mom. Out of nowhere, completely randomly, she asked, “Have you ever been baptized?” (Remember, I hadn’t ever said anything to anyone about considering baptism) and I replied, “Umm, not since I was a baby,” and she said, “Well, I know, but what about since then?” I said I hadn’t. She asked if that was something that I would want to do. As Bill Engvall would say, “Heeere’s your sign.”

Monday night (November 2), I was feeling really overwhelmed in general, and I got very emotional. I wasn’t sure why or what I was upset about, but I called my mom and began crying uncontrollably. After talking to her for a while, I figured out that school and all the religious contemplation were really stressing me out. I told her I didn’t know how to tell if God was talking to me and that I felt bad that I still had some doubts about believing and trusting Him 100%. During the conversation with my mom, Ruthann started talking to me online to ask if I was going to a conference for our church that a bunch of the college students are going to and to see if everything was going okay. I told her what was going on, and she invited me to go to a Bible study the next morning. I agreed, changed my plans, and went. After the Bible study, Ruthann & I talked about what had been going on. I told her I still didn’t know how to tell when God was talking to me, and a little later, told her the story about me praying in church about if I should get baptized and then my mom asking if I had been baptized. She said, “Kellen, that’s God talking to you. He put that thought in your head, and your mom asking you that was His echo.” Then, it clicked. After that, we went into Joe’s office to talk to him about baptism. He asked if I had any other questions, and I told him I wasn’t sure about being a bartender anymore. I just felt like it was a little bit counterproductive to what I was trying to do with my life. Then, Joe said, “Would it be okay if I did it?” and I asked, “Bartending? No, you’re a pastor!” and he said, “Well, so are you. You may not hold a formal position like I do, but you’re leading and influencing people whether you realize it or not. You need to ask yourself if serving those drinks to those people is furthering their walk with God.” It kind of hit me then that the best thing to do would probably be to quit. However, giving up financial control to God has been one of the biggest issues I’ve struggled with, and I wasn’t sure if I could do it. It was going to take a lot of time to weigh the pros and cons, and then I would have to figure out what I was going to say if I did decide to quit. I was thinking to myself and almost wishing that I would just get fired. I told Joe & Ruthann I would think about everything we talked about, we prayed together, and I left for class.

Since I had been thinking about work, I decided to text my boss to get my schedule for the week since I hadn’t gotten it yet. (This was about 30 minutes after I left Joe’s office.) She texted me back and had scheduled me for days that I had asked off or said I couldn’t work. I told her that I had put those days down on my availability card so I wasn’t going to be able to work, and I got a phone call. [Note: Apparently things don’t ever come up and schedules don’t change. She’s one of those people who seems to have a lot of underlying pain, and it shows through her words & actions. Most of the time she acts very bitter, angry, selfish, and inconsiderate. Needless to say, she’s been on my prayer list for a while because I don’t think this is her real personality, and I just want her to find peace & happiness in her life. That’s a whole other issue. Anyway, moving on to the phone call..] “Okay, I have a problem. You said when you started working here that you were available on Tuesdays. You can’t just change your availability part way through the semester. That’s not fair to your employer, Kellen. And you can’t just add on dates to when you’re not available. Because of YOU, I have to work a double again on Friday. What it boils down to is that you just want to work when it’s convenient for you. If you’re sick, ya know, it’s fine and you think you can just take off.” (I came down with the flu and 101 degree temperature the weekend of Homecoming. Not the best timing, but also not in my control.) Then she said that, as of then, I didn’t have a job. I just said, “Okay.” Although I was upset over being fired, I also had a strange sense of relief and happiness. I hung up the phone and had to go to a meeting with a professor. I began sobbing in his office, partly because I didn’t know what I was going to do about money and partly because God had handled the situation so I didn’t have to. He came through for me because I was seeking to do what He wanted for my life. This was probably the most amazing feeling of love and support I have ever experienced.

Although I feel that I’ve come a long way, I know I still have a long way to go, and this is only the beginning of my journey. I’ve never claimed to be a writer, so I hope I was able to convey the impact that God has had on my life and decisions. I’m still learning to give up control and place my complete trust in Him, but the changes that have happened in my life since beginning to make decisions based on what God is telling me to do are too big to attribute to coincidence. The feelings of relief and peace that I’ve felt are too strong to ignore. This is only a fraction of what I’ve learned, so please let me know if you have any questions or if you’d like to talk with me about anything in particular. I’m now very open about my religion (another change that has resulted from growing closer to God), and I would love to discuss it with anyone who is interested or thinks that God might be drawing them near. If you aren’t a Christian or if you aren’t sure, I would encourage you to try to open your heart & mind to the possibility. Anyone is welcome to come to church with me. Following God and deciding to do things His way has been the best decision of my life. It’s like having a friend who will never give up on you; someone who will always listen to you and go to bat for you; someone who will love you no matter how many times you stumble, mess up, or choose the wrong path. For those of you who are fellow followers of Christ, you know exactly what I’m saying. For those of you aren’t, please make an attempt. I’m not one to push my beliefs on people, but I can share my story with hopes that someone will read it, be inspired, and come to Christ. If you decide to take that step, it will be a very difficult and very sobering experience, but I promise, it’ll be the beginning of an exciting life-long journey and relationship with God.